A common feature of award ceremonies are acceptance speeches and are often considered long winded, boring, and dull affairs. If ever you find yourself in any such situation, avoid using any of the following:
1. "I'd like to thank everyone here--but to be perfectly honest, I could've gotten by without most of you."
2. "I can't believe I'm standing here! I've been sitting down listening to people for so long I can't feel my legs."
3. "I really didn't think I'd win this tonight--no seriously, I just lost a hundred bucks."
4. "This is amazing! This is amazing! I'm so happy right now, I'm not even going to use the bomb I brought!"
5. "Thank you so much to everyone who made this possible. Everyone who tried to make this impossible, IN YOUR FACE!"
6. "This is amazing, and proof that if you work hard, stay determined, and bribe the right people, you can do anything!"
7. "I want to thank all the little people for my success. You were so much easier to crush along the way than the big people."
8. "Finally! Now, I can leave."
9. "I don't feel like I deserve this--but I'm taking it anyway!"
10. "So, uh, thanks."
What speech is your favorite? What's your most awkward/worse acceptation speech you can think of? Leave it in the comments!
Image Source: I found this image on bing, but I can't find the original posting.